Distraught
This isn't about surviving abuse, it's about hurt and finally learning something... I'm a major hockey fan. The stereotype of being Canadian and loving hockey is me. I ask that if you read this post,...
View ArticleHere we go again...
I'm at a serious low and continuing to sink. I keep telling myself I'm OK.I'm not. I'm not OK, not even close.I keep welling up at work. I dig my nails into my palms to keep the tears away. Everything...
View ArticleMaybe Tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker and ready to implode, all of the ugliness inside me pouring out.Nice visual...I almost went to the hospital on the weekend to check myself in to the psych...
View ArticleI don't know anymore
I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doingI go to bed every nightI lie there waiting for sleepSometimes it comesSometimes it doesn'tI get out of bed when the alarm goes offI have a smokeI showerI...
View ArticleAnd here's ugly
I'm working with C again (thank God) and we've been working on the feelings of abandonment I'm experiencing.When I started writing about my mother the pain and sadness came crashing in. Talking about...
View ArticleHorrible
I'm in a fairly horrible place right now. Thanks everyone for your suggestions for stress relief, I think the best way to reduce my stress is to quit my job!! I'll try to be write a little more often...
View ArticleLight Duty
I've lost my mind. I am extremely stressed out. By the time Friday rolls around I'm a complete mess. My temper is rearing it's ugly head. I can't sit still. I can't sleep. I stare blindly at the...
View ArticleVacation
Whew... I have the rest of the week off. It was a bit of a fight to get it, but I won the battle!Today was my first day to sleep in and relax a bit - well that's what it was supposed to be, but I can't...
View Articlestruggles
I've been avoiding this place for a long time. I haven't wanted to deal with anything related to this and coming here is just a reminder of what I'm trying to ignore.I've tried to write a few times but...
View ArticleThat's My Job
I was going through my music folder on my computer earlier today and came across this song. As soon as I saw it, my heart stopped. At least it felt like it. I played it. And I cried. The tears just...
View ArticleNew beginnings?
Well... this sucks.With the help of C and our session today I think I've reached a plateau of sorts. I think I have healed as much as I can, at least for this point in my life. That's great. That's...
View ArticleThe Journey?
When do you know when you've healed as much as you can? How do you know? Do you ever really heal?
View Articlewell...
You all are right I think.I don't think it's possible to heal 100%. Every experience, good or bad, leaves a mark on us and that mark stays forever. I believe it's how we deal with those marks that...
View Article10 years
Yesterday marked the 10 year anniversary since I was raped. It was a horrible day, but not just because of what the day was to me. I quit my job. My fiance (we got engaged on Christmas Day) presented...
View ArticleJust One Thing After Another
Does this plague everyone? Is everyone else in the world constantly getting slammed with one fucking thing after another? It seems be what my life has always been and will always be. I'm not...
View ArticleMoney Matters
I'm annoyed. I'm in a place where I need help but can't get it. I can't afford it!Thanks to the supposed boom in Alberta all of the free counselling services are overloaded and the waiting period is a...
View ArticleRunning On Empty
I feel like screaming. Yelling. Shouting. Breaking something.I'm fucked no matter which way I turn. I've been on my own for almost a year now. In that year I think I've undone everything C or T helped...
View ArticleUntitled
I feel inadequate. I feel like a failure. I feel lost.The inadequacy is partly from my mother. It seems that nothing I do or how hard I work is not good enough. Last week she had me in tears. More than...
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